First of all, if you don't have kids, keep surfing. You aren't going to like what you hear today.
There's no diaper in those pants, people.
Here's how it happened: as you may recall, Liam was signed up for preschool back in February. One condition of attending most preschools (but by no means all) is that the children must be toilet trained. Back in February, that seemed very possible. After all, we had seven months to accomplish it. Although we did give it one half-assed attempt in April, for the most part we were sitting around waiting for Liam to be "ready" and for our lives to be stress-free. Well, waiting for stress to go away is a bit like waiting for hell to freeze over, so toilet training fell by the wayside. Then, on one of the last days of July, we got a letter from Liam's school that informed us that his first day was August 8th. That gave us exactly two weeks to get this worked out. And my brother was visiting for most of it.
Now, some people are against bribing their children to use the bathroom. But we didn't have the luxury of time so we started with bribes. Mark and I went to the clearance rack in Target's toy department and bought a bunch of silly, cheap toys of the sort Liam wouldn't normally get. We stuck them all in a box and told Liam each time he used the potty he'd get a toy. Lo and behold, it worked. We also told him that he couldn't use a diaper at school, so that helped too. Then we stayed close to home, dressed him nothing but undies and t-shirts, and asked him every half hour if he had to pee. It really didn't take long for him to get the gist of it (he must have been ready and he certainly was motivated).
But still, even the best-intentioned little boys don't want to stop playing to go pee. So last week, when Mark and I took Liam in to his school for that first meet-and-greet, I was a bit worried. Mark took Liam to the bathroom the second we arrived, then again after thirty minutes, just in case. So when Mark and I took the tour of the school, I was feeling reasonably confident. Silly me; we got back for the end of story time and when Liam stood up he was soaked.
The good news is that, despite all the big talk back in February, the school does "recognize individual differences and will work and support families" around potty training. So Liam's been wearing a pull-up to school. I've asked him to tell his teacher when he needs to go to the bathroom, but so far he's just been holding it until he gets home (I'm not confident enough in that, however, to send him to school in underwear yet).
As for the other half (good ol' number two), well, that's the holy grail of potty training and we haven't found it yet. Again, we're going the toy route. On top of our fridge, still in the box, is a giant robot with buttons, lights, and moving parts. It is the coolest toy and Liam wants it bad. But not quite badly enough, apparently, as we're still waiting on the poo. It could be a long wait too, as I understand kids often start to withhold it, get constipated, and then experience some pain, which scares them from trying again. Then the whole situation just gets worse. Friends have been going through this for months with their little boy. But about once a day Liam talks about the robot and what he has to do to get it, so I'm still hopeful.
At least I don't have to worry about him getting kicked out of preschool.
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