Fuzzy Love

NOT Blue

Thank you guys for all your lovely comments. This is tough, and your kind support is wonderful for the spirit.

So....that's a whole lotta green stuff, huh? I'm absurdly excited about this box. I signed up for home delivery of organic produce and the first one came yesterday. I guess this stems from our steady increase in eating organics, a desire to eat more adventurously, and probably from reading that eating locally book. The idea is that the produce is grown by local farmers, except we live in Colorado and it's February. So this time of year the stuff comes from Arizona, California, and Mexico (there are actually bananas under there somewhere), but when things grow here we will eat those things. Since we aren't quite ready to live without bananas, we figure this is a step in the right direction. I actually want to plant a small vegetable garden this Spring, but I'm worried that I won't have time to do it properly with all the other things we want to do to the house.

Anyway, Olivia dug right in and inhaled two blood oranges.

Unfortunately Liam heard me call them by name and wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole. He did eat a banana though.

I also ended up at another yarn store yesterday. After I saw the pattern for A Better Bucket, I decided that I need a new hat. Isn't it cute? Since Mark has claimed most, if not all, of my Malabrigo, I popped out for a another skein.

Not blue, huh? Really, really bright pink and red, actually. Olivia was with me and this was her first choice. I found something else too:

I'm a sucker for the soft stuff, even when it is sock yarn. I swear, it is one of my resolutions this year to complete a pair of adult socks. Anyway, I was walking around touching stuff and this yarn  - Handmaiden Casbah - is so wonderfully soft that it ended up back here with me. I'm also a sucker for all things Handmaiden/Fleece Artist, so resistance was futile (like I resisted). Year of the sock, I tell you: either knit them or stop stashing for them.

Yesterday

Yesterday was the first anniversary of my mom's death. Tough day. Tough month, actually. As the day approached I found the back of my mind focused more and more on Mom: specifically where she was this time last year and what I was doing. Apparently the back of my mind is normally used for other things as the past few weeks have been full of bewildering mistakes. I showed up for one appointment at the correct place and correct hour, but an entire week early. I tried to take another parents' bag from Liam's preschool (eek). And I scheduled a delivery for the 28th and waited around for it all last Thursday.

But I think that this anniversary has been especially difficult (as opposed to, say, her birthday or Christmas) because I find myself focusing more on Mom's death than her life. I think about the volunteer from the music school who sang lullabies to Mom on her last day, I think about the comfort Mom gave my brother in that last week, I think about the things I said the last time I spoke to her (lots of lasts, huh?). And yesterday I watched the clock all day. These are not regretful things, but they are painful nonetheless.

And you know, this whole grieving process has gone quite differently than I thought it would. I thought I would be very very sad, and nothing but sad, for a long while. Then it would begin to get better, slowly but evenly, until one day I would emerge into the light... Yeah. Well. Little did I know that I would actually laugh on the day she died, that the funeral would be as uplifting as it was unbearably painful, and that I would miss Mom today even more than I did in that foggy shock of a year ago. Yet, ever so slowly, healing is happening. For example, for a long time I could only picture Mom as she was in her last days: puffy from medication, expressionless (because of the tumors), with only a few wisps of hair remaining. But now I can remember her as she used to be. That is an enormous comfort; I was worried those memories wouldn't come back. I also felt very supported yesterday, and that is a great comfort too.

So over the next few days I will probably continue to think about the specifics of last year, the funeral in particular, but I did wake up this morning feeling some relief that the 26th is behind me.

Enough With the Blue

Mark gave me a special gift on Saturday. He actually suggested that I take off (kid-free!) and buy myself some yarn. Truly, a visit to a yarn store without a very bored child or two is a rare chance and not one to be wasted, especially since Olivia discovered that yelling, "NO! GO!" will make me hurry the hell out of there. I've had a few projects in mind for a while, particularly the Tangled Yoke Cardigan that everyone and her sister has knitted already, and I haven't bought yarn in ages (or at least it feels that way), so I promptly packed up and set out.

I actually had cast on for the Tangled Yoke a few months ago using some lovely Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool that was perfectly appropriate in every way except that it used to belong to my mother. I have since come to the realization that this yarn needs to be saved for something a bit more special. I'm thinking maybe a Lace Leaf Shawl instead, as I've seen some wonderful versions made from that yarn. Never mind that I have no head for lace (and I actually bought the pattern and gave it a go, but my brain hurt before I had twenty stitches on the needle). It still could happen.

Anyway, I did want to make that sweater. Since the called-for Rowan Felted Tweed is one of my favorite yarns ever, I set out on Saturday to splurge on a bunch of it. However, two stores later I still had no Felted Tweed. I guess Spring is coming, because they had only odd skeins. I did enjoy the browsing though. At one point I had piled my basket with all the exact yarn required to make a Neiman minus just one ball - they were low on stock and thus the sweater became impossible. Thank goodness that pricey little impulse passed. I also picked up and put back a bunch of lovely sock yarns (and we all know how much I looove knitting socks). Finally I ended up with....

Um...more Silky Wool. But in a different color at least. It's a very denim blue and is soft and has that tweediness about it. Not to mention it's considerably cheaper than the Felted Tweed would have been. Even though I cast on for the Tangled Yoke as soon as I got home, that's about all there is to see so far.

In the meantime, Mark has been bugging me to make him a hat for a very long time. Really, a long long time. This one (Ravelry link) was actually made for Mark - although it turned out to be a smidge too tight - and I finished that in October. Of 2006. And it's not like back then I jumped on a hat for him the second he asked. The point is, he's been patient. He's decided that the Koolhaas hat is "cool" (well, yeah) and then I talked him into a pair of Dashings. Both will be made out of this (as he wants them to match):

The Malabrigo left over from Mr. Greenjeans. I have two full skeins and that should be more than plenty. THEN, I have some Rowan Denim (in more blue, of course) that will be turned into this little dress before Spring comes. Let's hope the little princess will still consent to wear blue then.

Needing a Change

We are so ready for spring around here. Yesterday a big plowish truck (a scraper maybe? all those truck books I've read and yet absorbed nothing) spent over an hour breaking up a glacier that moved in across the street and, while Olivia napped, Liam and I watched all the drama and soaked up some sun. It was great entertainment, although I do wonder why the ice couldn't be trusted to melt all by itself.

In the realm of knitting, Clapotis number two is coming along. It would be farther along if I didn't keep making stupid mistakes that require ripping out multiple rows. Fortunately I haven't reached the part where stitches are dropped because I'm not sure if it's even possible to rip then. So there's not much to show, really, but here's a picture anyway.

The Koigu on 8s (5mm) is drapey and lacy and it turns out the black does have little ripples of gray running through it. Unfortunately this particular bit of knitting also has large ripples of unevenness because Olivia has gotten a hold of if a few times. She's been teaching herself to knit by weaving the needles in and out and around and through whenever I'm distracted. At one point I did give her some crappy yarn and some "icks" but the icks became swords and the yarn a spider web (Liam helped) so I gathered them up and put them away for another time. I'm hoping I can ease the wonkiness out tomorrow or I might need to rip again.

But I must confess I've been feeling drawn to another genre of craftiness lately (in addition to, NOT in place of). Over the last few months these have somehow accumulated:

I honestly haven't sewn a stitch for quite a while, mostly because of a lack of space; it's just no fun to sew on our home's lone dining table with two small sets of fingers prying into my workspace and pushing buttons. And then I have to put it all away before dinner time. However, the new house has a spot for a sewing table, so I do have hope for the future. I know how to sew basic stuff, so I'll start off small, but I have ginormous plans. Slipcovers and curtains and roman blinds. Toys and bags and little kid clothes. And then there's cute appliques on kids' t-shirts. And even, someday, quilts. That Kaffe Fassett book is spectacular (of course); just look at this one made from mens' dress shirts:

I'm guessing it's a lot harder to sew a mitered square than to knit one. Sooooo, I'm not really sure I have it in me to make one, but I sure as hell* would like to own one. I've been checking out sewing blogs as well, and finding all kinds of covetous projects. For example, check out this beautiful doll quilt made by Samantha for a swap. As in to give away. I want me one of those too.

Ahh well...I must say goodbye so long to those lovely books because soon they will be packed away to be moved. Let's hope they get some heavy use once we are resettled.

In the meantime, Olivia has made two unfortunate discoveries: how to get out of her crib and how to use a doorknob. Bedtime is now a ridiculously long process: we put her down; she gathers up baby dolls, pig, soothers, purse, and books and tosses them to the floor (oh yeah, she sleeps with all that stuff); she jumps down with a thud and gathers up all and sundry again; she appears at the top of the stairs to chat; we put her down again; she gets up. Repeat all of the above for a couple of hours. This means she is very tired and extra willful but is mostly willful about something I am more than happy to let her have her way in: outfits.

That right there's a dress over a tutu, which is in turn worn over perfectly good pants and a shirt. Later she added a cape.

*A strange expression, is it not, for someone who does not believe in hell?

Making My Day

It's all good today, people. I did my little drawing (such excitement!) and Jodi wins!! It's funny (and little bit sad, maybe?) how much fun this was for me. Thank you for helping me celebrate four years of blogging and for allowing me to bribe you into commenting.

And, to continue the love-fest around here, Delana says I make her day! Pretty sweet, huh? She's actually one of those who makes my day; she can knit anything and does it so quickly that she really does put me to shame. It's something to see, actually. But now it is my job to pass the award on to ten more bloggers.* So here are some that that write so well, that make me laugh, that have huge hearts, that inspire me, and that I'd just love to go to coffee with. In no particular order:

1. Jannett
2. Holly Jo
3. Karma
4. Stefani
5. Nadine and Thien
6. Stacey
7. Kristin
8. Jodi
9. Linden
10. The Pointers

There are others, of course. And I know some of you are getting this award for the second time; think of all those days made. Do it again if you really really want to, but I won't expect it.

*I do have to give an honorable mention to a blogger without a link; she's the mother of three borg and she always makes me either laugh or cry. I assume she'll know who she is.

My Feet Still Ache

First up, Olivia chose her outfit today. That's a shirt that declares "I want candy" and a tutu, of course.

Now, don't say anything, but Liam still wears a pull-up at night. No big deal, actually; he's only four, and sometimes he makes it and sometimes he doesn't. So, in the interest of discovery - can he do it if he tries? - we created a star chart to aim for ten nights with a dry pull-up.

It took a while.

I actually intended to purchase actual star stickers, but Liam created a star all by himself on the first day and I realized (silly me) that they weren't necessary. Oh, and you can see that Olivia got a hold of the chart one day, along with a red marker.

Ultimately he did make ten nights and got to pick the something special. I told him he could plan an outing or pick out a small toy or choose a special lunch. I'm very pleased that he went with an outing.

To see dinosaurs!

We actually covered almost every square foot of the museum, even the dim and deserted American Indian corridors. Liam was quiet adamant that he'd never set foot in the place before (he certainly HAS) and didn't want to leave. We did miss the newly-opened Gold exhibit (swamped with class trips) and we didn't spend a whole lotta time around the mummies (didn't need that discussion), but the highlight was definitely the dinosaurs. And the running around and the pushing of buttons.

And lunch, honestly: chocolate milk and jello (and a sandwich, but only after the first two were gone).

It was quite entertaining to watch Olivia try to slurp up her dropped jello, although it was difficult to communicate why she was not allowed to slurp it up from the seat of the cafeteria chair.

It was a very fun day. An all-day-on-our-feet day, during which Olivia did not nap but went to bed early. Nice.

Then yesterday the four of us spent the day at the Colorado Garden & Home Show. Another all-day-on-our-feet day, during which Olivia did not nap. This is what is called pushing our luck. Olivia has been a complete and utter terror ever since and has just gone down for her nap even though it is only eleven.

The home show itself was mildly productive. Liam did decide that he'd like a play set, trampoline, AND a playhouse in our new backyard (poor boy; if he ends up with even one of those I'll be very surprised), and we did learn more about xeriscaping, so it was worth the trip.

The point of all this (what? an actual point?) is that the whole family is spending today at home, quietly, and mostly on the sofa. For me, that means knitting. Now, it's been a while since I actually finished something; before Christmas, in fact. That was this, which has been up on Ravelry for a while, but hasn't been mentioned here yet:

My first Clapotis! It turns out I am not the last knitter in the world to make one after all. And I'm not sure what took me so damn long, as this is one of the more versatile things I've knitted. As for the specs: I followed the instructions exactly as written, but used four skeins of Koigu in a color I couldn't resist and size 8 (5mm) needles. The size was nearly dead on. I didn't bother with all those stitch markers, but simply purled the  to-be-dropped stitches instead (one thing about waiting until almost all the knitters in the free world have tried something is there are lots of tips and tricks out there).

I loved this project. It isn't too hard, but it isn't too boring either, and the stitch drops are highly satisfying. The blue one was a gift and I am making another one now, which is also a gift. Again with the Koigu, but in mostly black this time. So soon I'll be making a third, because I ought to keep one, right?

One last thing: with all our busy-ness (and my general lack of love for the job), we're a smidge bit behind on laundry right now. Yesterday, while he was trying to get dressed, I overheard Liam talking to his father:

Liam: Daddy! Daaaaadddyyyyyyyy!
Mark: Yes, Liam?
Liam: My underwear disappeared!!! It's gone!!! [Long pause] But the drawer's still here...

Four Freakin' Years

First up, Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you all got a little chocolate in your day today. And some hugs and kisses too. I'm full of kisses, if that's possible (that's something we say around here: "Are you down a kiss? Well, let's fill you up!"). The kids are full of candy since every Valentine Liam brought home from his preschool party had some sort of treat taped to it. He was kind enough to open up several lollipops for his sister, who was so pleased to be rich in candy that she gave out many sticky kisses and we all needed a wash. Mark sent flowers (thank you honey) and a box just arrived from Theo Chocolates which I suspect might also be for me (nice). So it's been a good day.

In preparation, yesterday was a Valentine-fest around here.

I so love this kind of craft time. I cut out the big hearts (with deckle scissors, one of the last remnants from my short-lived scrapbooking days), but the essence of this activity is to plop the kids amongst little odds and ends, hand them each a glue stick, and let them go to town. Fun stuff; can't go wrong. Now it's up to me to get them in the mail (if you see your child's name in there, just pretend to be surprised when you get one sometime in May).

Now, down to business. Today is my four-year blogiversary. Unbelievable. You see, this blog started as a way to keep in touch with distant grandparents scrounging for information about baby Liam. Mark doesn't do that sort of information-exchange thing, and I wasn't good at keeping track of who was told what, so a blog seemed ideal.* The point is that, in the beginning, this blog was made up of bland little stories about Liam that were really only of interest to his grandparents and the kindest of my friends. It was inevitable that after a while I would began to resent those happy little stories and write from the perspective of a sometimes cranky, sometimes frustrated, and more-than-just-a-mom me.

At the time, of course, I had no idea that I would end up in blogland, full of real "imaginary" friends with tremendously interesting ordinary lives and very generous natures. Because I'm so thankful you are out there, even after a few bunch of prolonged absences, I am having my first ever contest, complete with prizes. They're from my stash, but still: free yarn! It's a really easy contest too: use the comments and just say hello. On Monday I'll put the commenters' names in a hat and draw one.

As for the prizes: if you are a knitter, I'll send off your choice of either two skeins of these:

In color 601 Khaki, which is long discontinued and might never have actually existed other than in my own stash. If Kidsilk Haze makes your fingers crawl, how about one skein (enough for a pair of socks or even a BSJ) of this:

Lonesome Stone Mountain Feet in color High Country Vineyard. I figure most of you out there are NOT like me (both sock- and haze-challenged), and will make good use of these neglected yarns.

If you are NOT a knitter (and I know you are out there), please say hello too. If you win, I I'll make it worth your while. I will not, say, browse around our Goodwill pile and select a few cast-offs. I'll go to a real store, I promise. Although there is a lot of chocolate around here...

*For the life of me, I can't recall where I'd heard of such of thing as a blog.... (updated to add: knitting blogs, that's it - I was reading knitting blogs at work - ha!).

How You?

Olivia's new thing. She says it all the time except, of course, when I'm taping her.

Go on, don't be afraid to click it. It's only ten seconds long.

Random Things

So Ive been tagged for the random things meme, which I might actually have already done, but I'm too lazy to check through and find out for sure, so I'll do it again. I'll make them especially random. So here they are, thanks to the lovely Jody and lovely Jannett.

1. I spent all day yesterday painting at the new house and now I realize there are actually muscles in my neck that haven't been worked out in a while. For the record, painting ceilings sucks.

2. Over the past year I've developed a very unhealthy addiction to Mocha Frappuccinos. If there were a Starbucks anonymous (is there one?) I should be there, because the addiction has not only impacted my self-esteem (there are about a million calories in each one), but also my marriage. Mark just doesn't see the reason for trekking out on a cold January Saturday morning just because I have a caffeine headache.

3. I really need a pedicure.

4. I hoard books and parting even with the crappy ones is a little like pulling teeth. Books are stacked two deep on my shelves (not an attractive look) and piles are slowly overtaking one corner of our bedroom. I've been trying to weed some out before the move but it's been very difficult; I think I'm down about seven so far.

5. One of my major motivators to use more eco-friendly cleaners (vinegar and etc.); so that I can allow my children to clean for me without worry. Liam, for some reason, really likes cleaning toilets, while Olivia prefers dusting.

5. I haven't been knitting much lately (too many paint chips and boxes in the way) and I'm really starting to miss it. But I'm feeling very uninspired by any of my WIPs. I'd like to try to find my way out of this slump without buying any more yarn (I found even more while packing - oops).

6. I collect snowflake ornaments and could probably do a whole Christmas tree of them. Someday I want to crochet some out of Kidsilk Haze, but I don't know how to crochet in circles yet. Yes, the granny square eludes me.

7. Um...I'm really dragging here. I wish I had a Frappuccino.

I hardly feel entitled to impose on the few sweet readers who are still out there, so I'll just say that if you want to do this, go for it!

Look Who's Blogging

So a few emails, not to mention lots of pestering from my husband and others, and a general out-of-touch feeling have finally gotten me off my ass and back out to this sad, neglected little website. It's been a tough winter, honestly. Lots of stupid, brain-not-working sorts of things going on, like walking away from the car and wondering if it's still running (yes, it was). I haven't left any kids anywhere (yet), but I have been worn out. Not quite just getting through the days, but close. So I started simplifying my life, so that I had enough emotional energy to give to my kids (and a little to Mark too), and blogging fell by the wayside. Then we did one of the most stressful things possible: we bought a new house. And blogging was all but forgotten. Sorry. (That's not all that was forgotten, either. If you are wondering if we dropped you from our Christmas card list, we didn't. The cards are still sitting in a box on top of the fridge. My brother suggested that we send out Valentines instead, but then we'd be late for that too).

But these guys are doing well.

Since you last saw her, Olivia has somehow grown into the girliest girl there ever was. She takes two baby dolls with her everywhere (and I mean everywhere). They must be dressed appropriately in fiddly little outfits (guess who gets to do that) and buckled into seat belts in the car. These babies get frequent boo boos and require lots of kisses. She also carries at least one purse at all times that is stuffed with soothers. She chooses her outfits, including weather-inappropriate shoes. Yesterday she wore a tutu. Clearly I have no control.

Liam is in love with Lego. He draws out "plans" for rockets and cars and so on, then meticulously constructs the items from his plans, or makes Mark and I follow them, which we never do correctly. He also uses anything and everything to tell elaborate "stories."

So on to the big news. We did, in fact, buy a house. It isn't very far from our old house, but it is larger. We've been bursting at the seams here for a while. Best parts? It has a big yard (for our area, anyway), it's on a cul-de-sac, it's within walking distance to a good elementary school, it has built-in book shelves (ahhhhh....), and a real live guest room. We weren't really looking either, other than we had a real estate agent and were, well, walking through houses that happened to be for sale. The idea was to begin to look right about now, but to start to get a feel for what the values are in a neighborhood that's been hit hard by the housing droop lately. Then we just walked in and discovered our house. So here's some pictures.

I love love love the house, but it does need some work and that's what has been consuming most of our free time lately. The kitchen has been a victim of old age, crappily-done home improvements, and a small toaster fire. It needs replaced and we're working our way through that horrible process right now. The bathrooms also need updating, but fortunately Mark is fairly handy and especially enjoys demolition. One tacky bathroom is already only a memory. I'll be spending this weekend painting, while Mark is going to try his hand at laying tile. Since we've spent a lot of time recently not dreaming about the future (more like dreading), this house has been a very happy diversion for us. We hope to actually live there sometime in April.

Anyway, I have lots of blogs to catch up on (I do miss you people) and a few memes to think about. Talk to you SOON. And not about paint colors, I swear.