Even on the Saddest Days

I've been out of sorts all week and of course, this is why:

Mom died two years ago today. It's so tough, really. Missing her, I mean. Even picking out that picture was tough. Some days the two years seem to have just flown by, and she feels close to me. But then I think of what Olivia was like two years ago (she's now lived longer without my mom than with her) and it makes me dizzy, gives me vertigo. I'm also torturing myself today with checking the clock and remembering what was happening today two years ago: where I was, where she was. Oh man.

Okay.

So, the good thing I wanted to tell you about is that my little knitting/crocheting group met last night and everyone brought the hats that they had made with them (back story here, if you missed it). I took my little pile, along with the lovely ones that were sent to me. And everyone had a pile, and some people had some extra hats that their friends had made for the project. And we ended up with one huge bunch of hats!

Okay, so those pictures are crappy, because it was taken at night at Starbucks. But I have them all here at home now and look!

There are 70 hats!! Seventy!! And two beautiful blankets, just 'cause.

And there are still a whole bunch more hats coming. I'm amazed. Flabbergasted. And really really happy about it.

Thank you so much to everyone who sent a hat; I am so grateful that you helped out with this project. They'll all go to the Children's Hospital next week and I'll take pictures of that too, and then we'll send word to the family. (They know about what we're doing, but I hope they'll be surprised by how many we have). I hope it brings them some comfort, since it certainly brings me some.

Comments

[Ella]

It's weird, isn't it, how some memories become so vivid. I have some I'd like to exchange - fonder memories that I'd prefer to relive, rather than the painful ones. As if we could choose.

I had fully planned on knitting a hat for you, but I've been a bit... wrapped up. When are you going next week? Are you still accepting hats? I'll be down in Denver this weekend and next....

[Nadine]

Is it okay if I send you a hat years from now? :) I've not even started one, and I'm tempted to send the one I made for charity months ago and is still sitting in my basket, but what am I going to say to them if they ask me about it???

Thank you for sharing the happy picture of your mum. When you write about her and how much you miss her, it always brings me to tears. I'm not blaming you. :) Your writing is just that powerful. Really.

[Jody]

I do the same thing every year. Lots of hugs.

[Susan Brown]

Hugs from London. So far from there and then to here and now. And then it is a blink of an eye.

[Holly Jo]

They say time heals all things, but there are some things I think it just can't. Maybe just dull it some days.

The hats are amazing. What an incredible outpouring. Hope it eased some of what you are feeling.

[sue]

What a lovely smiling lady your mum looks like in that photo. It must be so hard for you without her, but memories get stronger as the days go by and the good ones keep you going. I always like to think of loved ones as going to a place where they at their healthiest and happiest and I am sure one day you will meet again. The hats look amazing and what a fantastic effort too. I love the blankets and the hospital will be so happy to receive them too.

[Karma]

Just popping in with a hug. xoxo

[Mo]

I didn't realize that your Mom died on my oldest daughter's birthday. Somehow that passed me by. I will always remember now, though I probably already think of her more than any other person I have never met.

It's a hard thing, missing your mother. I remember being rather dismissive of comments my mother would make years, even decades after Grammy died. Ah, regrets, I've had a few.....

The hats are amazing and I wish I could have knit a few. Just this week started back to knitting on the blanket I have in progress from when Mom was sick. ( I think that yarn store in Halifax does a very good business with people like us...)

I had to close the sunroom door last night as one of our cats has become possessed with my yarn and drags the balls all over the house, digging them out of the bag in order to do so. This has been going on for a couple of months, me going around every morning and picking up the balls of yarn he has dug out. Some I didn't even remember I had! I have been fairly tolerant as he had never broken the thread but yesterday he had it wound all around the coffee table and up the stairs and two threads were broken. So todays mission is to find a storage container that is cat proof.

Mo

[jen]

Giving you a virtual hug!

[Jodi]

Oh, what a tough time of year. Congrats on finding a wonderful way to brighten it up and share the knitterly love with those in need! A beautiful, bountiful collection of hats.

[Samantha]

Oh, i wish I had known this yesterday so I could have given you a big hug. Much, much love!

[Stacey]

Oh crap! I need to send mine to you! I will try to get to the PO by the end of the week.... : /