Fuzzy Love

A Good Thing With a Side of Chips

My friends Jenn and Bill have some friends named Jessica and Charley and J&C have a beautiful and precious not-quite-two-year-old daughter named Tuesday. Tuesday was diagnosed with neuroblastoma in July and has been in treatment ever since (blogged over here). Now, when this happens to someone you care about, and you're thinking that you just want to do something, and a cassarole is nice but surely you could do more than that, and also that there but for the grace of god...well, sometimes it just takes a little creative thinking. And a couple of people who will take action.

So Jenn and Bill hosted a poker tournament. Sixty dollars a head with the money going equally to the family and to cancer research (with a bit put aside for a prize).

Here's what they did: they invited friends, family, and friends of family. They rented tables and chairs, established some house rules, and borrowed poker chips from all over. They made a lot of delicious food and bought a lot of alcohol. And then they cleaned up the house, sent the kids off with a grandmother and opened their doors. I know it was a lot of work because Jenn disappeared all last week (and I'm sure there's more stuff that I'm missing).

Oh, and did you know that if you explain what you are up to and why, lovely companies like Starbucks and local restaurants and so on will donate door prizes to your event? They will and they did. And Mark and I each won a bag of coffee (especially nice because we were all out).

Jenn has mentioned to me a few times how blessed she feels to be a part of this family's life, which is facing such difficulties with such grace. But I also feel very blessed to have friends who see a need and move to help in a big way. Because it's the showing of some love that helps the most (I think) and that's what they did. (Although money is nice too, I'm sure.)

Oh, and about the poker part? I totally recommend Texas Hold'em for Dummies (well, just the first 32 pages, because that's as far as I got); here I am at the final table. I ended up placing fifth, and it's probably fair to say everyone was pretty surprised (especially me). I found that my accidental unpredictability helped a lot, if that makes sense.

But I wish I read the whole damn book.

On Bathrobes and Bellinis

I am a very lucky woman. Once in a long while I get to leave my lovely and beloved family and go away for a weekend with friends. My two very good girlfriends, Jenn and Kelly, to be specific; the kind of friends who know all about me but like me anyway. We could have fun anywhere, we could talk forever, and last weekend we did just that in Scottsdale. Actually, what we specifically did was eat a lot, drink a lot, lounge around in bathrobes at the spa, lounge around the pool, and generally feel luxurious a lot. While talking, of course. It is a lifestyle to which I could easily become accustomed, if given half a chance.

But, by Sunday evening, waiting for my suitcase in DIA, I was aching for my family. Oh, to sniff my babies' hair! But now that they're sniffed and cuddled, and I've had a Mark hug and kiss (and even a - gasp - conversation), I'm ready to lay by the pool and have another bellini.

Ah well. Soccer practice is nice too.

Making My Day

It's all good today, people. I did my little drawing (such excitement!) and Jodi wins!! It's funny (and little bit sad, maybe?) how much fun this was for me. Thank you for helping me celebrate four years of blogging and for allowing me to bribe you into commenting.

And, to continue the love-fest around here, Delana says I make her day! Pretty sweet, huh? She's actually one of those who makes my day; she can knit anything and does it so quickly that she really does put me to shame. It's something to see, actually. But now it is my job to pass the award on to ten more bloggers.* So here are some that that write so well, that make me laugh, that have huge hearts, that inspire me, and that I'd just love to go to coffee with. In no particular order:

1. Jannett
2. Holly Jo
3. Karma
4. Stefani
5. Nadine and Thien
6. Stacey
7. Kristin
8. Jodi
9. Linden
10. The Pointers

There are others, of course. And I know some of you are getting this award for the second time; think of all those days made. Do it again if you really really want to, but I won't expect it.

*I do have to give an honorable mention to a blogger without a link; she's the mother of three borg and she always makes me either laugh or cry. I assume she'll know who she is.

Salutations Spring!

Or is it Salutations for Spring? Or Salutations to Spring? Charlotte isn't very clear about this.

Anyway, Liam and I picked up the Charlotte's Web movie yesterday. I cried again, but not nearly as much as I did at the theater, and Liam was sad too and gave me cuddles when Charlotte dies (that magnum opus part gets me every time). Man I love that story. Hopefully Liam will be up to chapter books soon because I'm aching to start.

We had a beautiful weekend here in Denver. So beautiful that we couldn't help breaking out the BBQ and having dinner outside on the deck, even if it was just hot dogs. Who am I kidding; I love a good hot dog. I also love eating outside on the deck, and now that Olivia doesn't need to be strapped into a high chair to eat, we'll get to do it a lot more this year. No flowers yet (maybe next weekend we'll go to the nursery and transplant the sunflowers), but we did get to see the buds of spring leaves.

So, in the spirit of spring, I thought I'd share our recipe for perfect (we think), oven fries. They are so tasty and easy and satisfy a craving.

All you do is get a bunch of baking potatoes: one per person if they're medium-sized, one for two people if they're huge. Slice each potato in half (don't peel them), then slice each half into three, four, or even five wedges. The thinner the wedges, the more oil will be absorbed and (I think) the better the french fry (and the less healthy the french fry). If you do three wedges, the fries will taste more like a baked potato. Do what you like.

Toss them in a bowl with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil, a teaspoon of kosher salt, a clove or two of minced garlic, and, if you are feeling wild and crazy, a pinch or two of cayenne pepper. Seriously toss them together. Then lay them on a baking sheet (I usually spray the pan with Pam first, because you can't be too careful) with a cut side down. In the oven at 400 degrees for about thirty minutes, until they look nice and brown, flipping them once about half-way through. (They're also great with sweet potatoes, although I can't remember if that required more cooking time or less.)

The visit was especially exciting because our friend Eric (of the pictured-above Allison and Eric) has been learning how to knit. More specifically, I've been teaching him how to knit. Well, really specifically, I lent him needles, some kitchen cotton, and my copy of Stitch 'N Bitch (which has such great instructions), got him started and sent him on his way. Everything else he's done by himself. You see, Eric has one of those engineer's brains, and he must understand how pretty much everything in the world works. So, what has he done?

Um, a really big dishcloth. Which he cast on for by himself! And it's done beautifully, with even stitches and a nice little knit/purl stitch pattern that he thunk up. Next up, a diagonal dishcloth of a more appropriate size, then the cat bed from the book. I'm so proud.

And I've been plugging away at Rusted Root. I like this project, really I do, and I think I'll love it when I've done with the sleeves and my stitch count goes down by about a third.

Scottsdale Ho!

We're off for Arizona this evening! And just in time (yup, it snowed this week).

But honestly, packing for our trip to Scottsdale is not going as well as I'd hoped. I know that I do have summer clothes, I'm just not really confident on where they are or even what they all look like. So I've been digging through my drawers looking for shorts and shirts and skirts to take, then trying them all on because god knows what still fits, and then washing them because they're wrinkly from being stuffed in a drawer all winter (iron? I think not). And I'm trying to remember what shoes go with these things and where those shoes are, and then remembering that I threw out all my flip flops because the cat systematically clawed them to death.

At the same time (and this is in the category of TMI) I've discovered that I really need new bras. I'm still wearing the cheap crappy ones I bought after weaning Liam. You see, my theory was that, since I would be getting pregnant again sometime soon and who knows what size I'd be after a second child, there wasn't much point in spending much on bras until all the babies were here. And since my cute little pre-baby bras certainly didn't fit (and they're long gone now), I bought a few cheap crappy ones. This post-nursing, pre-second-pregnancy state only lasted nine months, so it seemed like an okay plan. Well, Olivia has been off the boob for four months and I'm not getting any smaller, but I'm still wearing cheap, crappy, and ill-fitting bras. The point of all this is that thin summer t-shirts really show off how ill-fitting they are. Sadly, the bras are much too big and the word "baggy" would not be inappropriate here (please be clear that I'm talking about my bras, not my boobs. I'm not going to take on that issue right now).

And have I mentioned just how pasty white I am? And that my nicest bathing suit is a maternity one (and that I half-considered taking it anyway)? And that I can't remember the last time I shaved my legs?

Note: it sounds like I'm complaining about all this, but really I'm just taken by surprise. Like I am every spring.

Packing for the kids is easy, though: since they require entirely new wardrobes every six months (at best), I pretty much just had to take the tags off.*

Just to throw some extra chaos into the mix, we spent too much time yesterday looking for The Paper Bag Princess (just to find it at our favorite store, where we should have gone in the first place). Liam's friend Emma is having her fourth birthday party this afternoon and it is a full-on princess tea party. Liam will not be the only boy there (one of two, I think), and he's excited to wear his prince/knight costume, complete with sword.

Emma has entered the princess phase that seems to be so popular, but in her heart she is a wild child, and she tells her mother she is, in fact, "a hero princess." So Emma must have a copy of the Paper Bag Princess, and today she will. It's by Robert Munsch, who is a superstar in Canada but sadly is not nearly as widely read down here. If you've heard of him at all, it's probably because of his other book I'll Love You Forever, which I have NEVER been able to read to my kids without disintegrating into a snotty cry. I highly recommend pretty much everything he's ever written. But then I have an extra soft spot for him as he came to read to my elementary school class when I was a kid.

Anyway, tonight the kids and I are off for warmer places. Mark joins us on Wednesday night since he's short on vacation days, and we're all back in a week. It will be good. We could really use some quality time with parental figures and Mark's parents are fun to hang out with. Liam is wildly excited because their condo has a pool. Maybe I'll get a chance to lie by it?

I'm not sure if I'll be posting, so have a good week everybody. I hope you all get some warm days.

* Well, packing clothes for the kids is straightforward. Let us not forget the pack 'n' play, a car seat, a booster, sippy cups, books for both kids, and enough toys to keep them reasonably entertained in their grandparents' apartment for a week. The toys have to meet two criteria: they have to be versatile  and they have to be small (such as Olivia's funny face blocks). Of course Olivia will provide much of her own entertainment by spending much of the week emptying out all reachable cupboards and drawers, so we'll just have to spend a lot of time outdoors. One nice thing about Arizona is they do provide shade around the playgrounds.

Joe

Jenn's dad died this morning. As I said of my mom, it was a better world with him in it.

More Hard Stuff

I mentioned a few days ago that my friend Jenn is going through a hard time right now, but that hard time has now turned into a crisis. Her dad has cancer and is coming to the end of his fight. It's utterly dumbfounding that this is happening to her dad so soon after my mother's death (it's not like we just know each other; she's one of my very closest friends), but it is, and sickness and death just seem so close and real that, well, things are tough.

Thank god the kids aren't still sick (you know, with that little bug they had last week), because right now my brain could turn the smallest cough into many sleepless nights. In fact, last night I turned a dinner with friends into a lengthy discussion about shopping for grave stones. I'm not a lot of fun, really.

But I thought I'd provide (as a public service) some tips and tricks, so to speak, of what to do when a friend is going through this kind of a crisis. You know your friend best, so use your judgment. But it amazes me that some people don't have a clue what to do to help. Obviously you aren't capable of fixing the situation, but that doesn't mean you can't, if not make things better, make things a little less worse than they otherwise would be. I'm no expert, of course, and Jenn might not agree, but here goes:

1. Show up. Call. If you are afraid of saying the wrong thing, think about it for a while and send a card. Somehow these difficult situations send the most well-intentioned people into a prolonged absence from your life. Please don't be one of those friends.
2. Actually, this is part 1b. If someone you love looses someone that they love, GO to the funeral. If you're wondering, and an airplane ride isn't involved, you probably should.
3. If the friend has kids, particularly small kids, take them out for a while. Show those kids a half-decent time. Give the parents some time to be upset, impatient, and frantic when their kids are not around.
4. Bring food. It is very difficult to remember to eat, let alone put together a dinner, when in the midst of a crisis. Don't even ask - just bring it by.
5. I've said it before and I'll say it again: tell people really and truly how you feel about them. It helps. And it isn't even that hard.

As for what to say/what not to say: there isn't anything you shouldn't say as long as you are sincere. With the possible exception of "I know how you feel," which everyone knows about, and ANY mention of the behind-the-scenes funeral-home processes (you know who you are and no hard feelings).

Also, Liam's preschool teacher pointed me to a list of books about death to read with small children. It was helpful to us, although Liam doesn't really understand quite yet. But then he's so little, really.

Still Icky, But Getting Better

It's still pretty icky around here. Of course Liam caught what Olivia had, despite our obsessive hand-washing and toting-around of disinfectant. So today she was all better and ready to play, while Liam was still camped out on the sofa. He's watching waaaay too much television (I swear, if I have to watch one more episode of Caillou I'm going to toss the tv out the front door. Backyardigans are still okay though.) And he's also rediscovered Popsicles: "Mommy, can I have one of dose with the stick that are wed [red] and have the snow on dem?" (They've been in the freezer since last summer and do, in fact, have snow on them.)

But we have a few things to look forward to.

First up: Friday girl's night out. Nothing too wild (come on), but there will be dinner and drinks involved. Mostly we're in this for the talking.

In less than two weeks, I'm taking the kids to Scottsdale to visit with Mark's parents. Mark will join us half-way through the week since he's used up every available vacation day but two. We're all looking forward to that. Especially now that I haven't been out of the house in one, two.....no, four days, some lying by the pool is in order.

And then, a surprise! My friend Kelly is coming to town! Just for a few days, in the middle of next week, but man, I can't wait to see her. Her husband has been traveling a lot, both for business and because of a family health crisis (now being managed), and has yet another business trip planned for next week. Rather than stay at home alone with her two little guys again, and knowing how difficult things have been here in Denver, she's coming for a visit. And when I say that things have been hard here, I'm also talking about our friend Jenn, whose father has cancer. He's in the hospital and is having a very hard time. So a visit from Kelly is like a happy present for both of us.

Hallowe'en Parties

I am having much more fun celebrating Hallowe'en as an adult than I ever did as a kid. Of course, the end of October is usually downright cold in eastern Canada; every year we hoped and dreamed that we wouldn't have to cover our costumes with our winter coats, but we always did. Plus there wasn't nearly the hype then around the day that there is now. It has been such a busy weekend that my legs are aching from about the knees down, both kids are wiped out, and I'm betting the whole household will be in bed by nine.

Yesterday we attended one of those sponsored trick-or-treating events that seem to be popping up everywhere. Although I wouldn't call it loads of fun (since it was essentially just a long line), Liam did enjoy getting the bulk of the candy he'll get this year and had lots of practice saying "Fank you!" Of course every piece of candy came with a coupon, but both kids also got a new toothbrush from a local dentist. Why did we bother? Well, a few reasons:

1. I love their costumes (and Liam loves his costume) and want both kids to live in those costumes for a few days.
2. We really only trick-or-treat at the houses of people we know and I thought it would be nice if Liam got more than ten pieces of candy this year (and when I say Liam, I mean Liam and Mark and I).
3. I like seeing all the costumes and we'll probably only get about twenty kids at our door this year, half of which will be teenagers dressed in their regular clothes.

Then last night we went to a party given by some friends. They had tons of beer and food and bubbling "witch's brew" punch and a bouncy castle in their garage. And I seriously think Mark and I were the only two people there not in costume. So now, of course, I think we need costumes, even though that hadn't really occurred to me until we arrived at that party yesterday. Patterns will go on sale this week, and I might remember to pick a few up. Then we'll see if I ever get around to making any.

Today we went to Boo at the Zoo. It had a wild west theme, hence the straw roping. Since it was such a nice day (about 70 degrees), half the state turned up and it was tough to move, especially while towing two kids in a wagon. And yes, Mark made his annual comment: "Wow, this place is a zoo." But we did manage to briefly run into some friends before the crowds whisked them away again (here's Liam with Emma).

It was too crowded to see much of the animals, and the lines were too long to get much candy, and everywhere Olivia went we heard comments like, "Oh, it's Big Bird!" and "Look at the little chicken!" (for the record, she's a duckling). But there weren't many other cowboys, and Liam was feeling fine. Most costumes, as usual, were of  the Disney princess/Power Ranger types (especially Tinkerbell, usually over a white turtleneck).

We did see a boy dressed as the sun with all the planets in orbit around him, a very tall Napoleon, an inflatable Fat Bastard, and Elizabeth I (complete with jewels). And a pirate in a wheelchair who transformed the chair into a giant ship. Unfortunately it seems that most creativity goes toward making the seven-on-up boys look as gory as possible (can't wait for that phase). And I include ourselves in that un-creative group, since, after all, Olivia's costume was off the rack and a cowboy (even a very handsome one) doesn't exactly surprise anyone. We are even going to try for a little gore on Tuesday when Mark has to get dressed up for work. (Don't worry; I'll take pictures of that too.) Still, it's disappointing.

All the same, all the costume-assembling and party-attending is a great deal of fun. Good thing we're enjoying it, since there are two more solid days  of parties before it's all over.

At Least We Got Out of the House

There are some days when we are "on" as parents. There are the happy days on which we pack a picnic lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, 100% juice juice boxes, and goldfish on the side (with cut-up grapes and cantaloupe and little crackers for the babies) and walk to the park, where the kiddos run and jump and play in the fresh air until they tire and begin clamoring for the food. And then there are days like today. Perfectly warm and sunny days, but days on which the kids are wild and crazy and we are lazy. I'm not proud of it, but on those days we sometimes end up here:

MacDonald's Play Place. <Sigh>

We can drive right up to the door, order a meal for all of us for under eight bucks, and pretty much ignore the kids until they start clamoring for the miniature ice creams. So today was one of those days.

Which reminds me of a funny story. Mark took Liam and Olivia to MacDonald's last week for lunch. He wasn't aware of the golden rule: before a child goes in the tunnels, that child must go to the potty. After all, Liam doesn't give us much notice at the best of times and sometimes it can be a long trip down from the top of that play place.

A little while later, Olivia was strapped into a high chair and covered with drool and lunch when Liam came running up. He announced an urgent need to go to the bathroom and Mark, knowing how close it must be, told Liam to, "Go!" Well, there is another golden rule of parenting: don't send your children anywhere that you cannot retrieve them. This is, apparently, a lesson that must be learned through experience. Mark told Liam to go into the women's washroom.

In Mark's defense, Liam goes to the washroom all by himself at home. And Mark was thinking that the women's washroom was a safer place than the men's (and I would agree). But he wasn't thinking that Liam might possibly run into trouble and would pretty much be out of luck. Which, of course, Liam did and Liam was.

It was the damn button on his shorts.  Liam can't undo buttons quickly. Long story short: Liam ended up in a puddle in the bathroom, removed his wet clothes, and wouldn't come out. Thank god for a kindly lady that found Mark and then helped Liam into new clothes (right now we're always packing a spare).

So today's play place experience was a bit less dramatic. But still, I'm not proud.